


Renewal

by dramaticinsanity



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alpha Cisco, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Omega Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-05-17 12:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramaticinsanity/pseuds/dramaticinsanity
Summary: He hurts people. One way or another, it’s inevitable. He couldn’t save Tess. He couldn’t protect Jesse. He can’t be right for Cisco.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Credit goes to [this post](http://lala-sara.tumblr.com/post/174501352140/im-watching-toms-royal-pains-episodes-and-in-the). Shamelessly and completely inspired by this, I decided to act on this as a free for all prompt. I hope it's adequate. Thanks for getting me out of my boredom rut for a bit and finally writing something again for harrisco.
> 
> Wow, this ended up way more angsty than I initially intended. Sorry. I will endeavor to fix it in the next chapter. This is basically set in canon, with the addition of the Alpha/Omega thing. 
> 
> While the omega going into heat and having sex with the nearest alpha trope often flirts with dubious consent or even non-con, I try to make it clear that Harry wants Cisco, trusts Cisco, and knows what he's doing. Please let me know if I failed in doing this, or if I should add another warning. 
> 
> Also, I don't know how to tag this so warning here -- Harry considers the possibility of terminating his pregnancy, but this will not be his ultimate decision.

 

Harry is in heat. He hasn’t been in heat for years. Losing their mate often has that effect on omegas. Some of them even struggle to continue their day to day life. Harry managed, because he had Jesse.

He was preparing to leave for his Earth, but his heat hit like a train off the rails. It’s telling him not to leave the only alpha he wanted since his wife.

Cisco is frozen in the doorway. Harry saw him come in, but he hasn’t yet acknowledged him. He’s too ashamed of being caught like this by his co-worker, lab partner.

By the man he’s come to respect and admire and love.

By the man who is giving off strong alpha pheromones that are making his own sing in response. Wait… what? No, Harry could’ve sworn Cisco was a beta. Alphas are proud, and they rarely take suppressments unless they are afraid of their own lack of self control.

Cisco is a good, kind, strong man. The only other reason Harry can think of would be if Cisco became aware that Harry was an omega. If he found out, he wouldn’t want anything to happen by accident. Heats and ruts can be activated outside of scheduling in the condition that a compatible pair are near each other enough. It doesn’t necessarily need to include mutual attraction. It’s unfortunate, and a subject of much debate.

Harry is certain Cisco would never want to take advantage of him. But he’s going into rut, Harry can smell it. He’s torn between begging for sweet release or forcing Cisco to leave before it gets worse.

“Please,” slips out of his mouth before he can stop it. He groans and grinds against the heel of his hand that he has pressed against his crotch.

Cisco approaches, close, but still far. His expression is guarded.

“Do you… is this just the heat talking?”

“No I. I need you.”

Cisco pulls at locks of his own hair, clearly distressed. “How do I know that’s not the heat talking?”

“I knew I would fall for you when you offered to vibe Jesse… and I did,” Harry grits out. He squeezes his eyes shut. “You just have to trust me.”

Harry’s knees are weak. He grabs Cisco’s t-shirt, fisting the material in his hands. Cisco takes his hand and entwines their fingers.

“I believe you. If you decide you don’t really want this… at any time… I’ll leave. Okay?”

“Okay. Yes.”

Cisco leans in, and Harry meets him halfway. The seating sensation in his gut multiplies tenfold. Cisco moans and kisses him hard and dirty, their tongues finding each other and clashing like gladiators, lovers, long separated by a war on opposing sides. It’s bliss and torment rolled into one.

Harry bucks his hips, seeking relief for his painfully throbbing, leaking member. Cisco seems to read his mind and opens the buttons on his jeans. He pushes his pants to his knees. Harry grunts in surprise when Cisco drops smoothly and wraps his lips around his cock.

Harry fists locks of his hair. He thrusts into Cisco’s pliant mouth. It doesn’t go on for long. Cisco stands and nods as an indication to what’s behind Harry. He crawls onto his cot. He raises his ass to the air like he’s made an offering to a deity. His shirt rides up.

Cisco’s palm finds his abdomen, and he spreads his fingers. He strokes down to his chest and up again. Harry groans and thrusts in hopes that Cisco will wrap his hand around his erection. He doesn’t, not yet. Instead, Cisco rubs and pinches his nipples, electrifying his skin and his desperate need. The bed squeaks as Cisco kneels behind him. Harry can feel his glands producing so much slick, that he’s surprised Cisco doesn’t slip in it.

Cisco murmurs something in the distance that sounds like encouragement, or comfort, or both. Harry is too lost in his heat to notice the specifics. However, it has the intended effect. Cisco’s voice is soothing and calms whatever trepidation remains. Cisco circles his hole with a finger and slides it in. He’s become so relaxed and wet that it doesn’t feel like much. He rolls his hips.

“I need more, Cisco.” Cisco doesn’t hesitate to add more fingers. He seems to want to check that Harry will be sufficiently stretched. He knows he should care, but right now, he doesn’t think he would mind any pain.

“I’ll give it to you Harry, I promise. You’re so good.”

Cisco’s words cause him a different kind of pain. It brings him a little out of his intensity, distracting him with anxiety and doubt.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for how I’ve hurt you, I don’t deserve an alpha as good as you -”

“Harry, you don’t have to worry about that right now. Thank you though.”

“I love you,” Harry whispers.

“I know.”

“Do you?”

Harry isn’t sure whether he was asking if Cisco really understood the depth of Harry’s feelings, or if Cisco felt the same for him. Cisco didn’t answer. He guided Harry to lay on his back. He strokes the damp hair from his forehead, and kisses him there. He kisses his lips and gazes at him softly for a moment.

He lifts Harry’s leg and thrusts inside. Harry shouts at the slight burn and overwhelming relief. He anchors himself with a hand in Cisco’s hair and the other on his shoulder. Harry expects him to take it rough and fast, like any omega would expect from an alpha.

He’s slow and steady, grinding out his place in Harry. He’s a river coursing through a canyon. Harry can only hang on for dear life, barely able to muster up any embarrassment for the breathy noises he’s making. Cisco sucks at his neck and collarbone, not hard enough to leave marks, but Harry wishes he would. He doesn’t get close to the bonding gland either, for the most part.

Harry tenses when he does, and he doesn’t get close again. The sudden fear overrides everything else for a second, and the thought of tying Cisco to him, dragging him down, is all too horrifying. Every thought is how he could never be good enough, could never give Cisco the happiness he deserves.

Especially after Cisco looked so devastated when Harry revealed he didn’t have the full scope of his intelligence back. He had no doubt that Jesse wouldn’t stand for that, or that Cisco would think of something eventually. Those two might even collaborate somehow.

If he wasn’t so distracted by having Cisco deep inside him, he might have smiled at the thought. Either way, it’s clear what he means to Cisco. He’s family sure, to Team Flash, a valuable member.

A charity project. A part of him wants to berate himself for thinking like this, especially during sex. It has to be due to his omega hormones… at least to a certain extent.

He can’t stop it though, the idea that Cisco is only with him now out of pity. Harry isn’t about to give up the chance to have this. He must mean something more to Cisco, or he would’ve walked away. Harry can’t even contemplate taking Cisco up on his promise to let Harry back out. He wants Cisco wholeheartedly, but he can’t squash the notion that this is all that it’ll be, a one-time bout of love-making.

Cisco doesn’t fully want him as he is, and Harry doesn’t like who he was. Even if he gets that back, what if he regresses emotionally? He doesn’t think it’ll just go away in the snap of fingers, but it’s difficult to envision a scenario in which they should be together. It’s difficult to envision that he’ll be the kind of person he wants to be, that Cisco also wants him to be. They can’t have a true relationship with Cisco’s guilt, nor with Harry’s self-loathing and emotional distance.

Even if he got both his intelligence and kept his balance, would Cisco want that person, would he want that person, the way that Harry wants Cisco? Harry isn’t sure that any version of himself could be the man that Cisco should have loving him. He didn’t have a significant other or friends between the time that Tess died and gaining a relationship with team, and although he has often told himself otherwise, it wasn’t entirely because he didn’t want it.

He hurts people. One way or another, it’s inevitable. He couldn’t save Tess. He couldn’t protect Jesse. He can’t be right for Cisco.

His mind is thankfully silenced when Cisco finds his prostate. His spine arches, and he cries Cisco’s name over and over. Cisco holds on to one of his hands, locking their fingers together again. His other is placed on Harry’s hip. He gives up all pretense and pounds into Harry mercilessly. Harry is unable to tear his eyes away from the sight, as Cisco closes his eyes, his neck arching as he moans. His hand finally wraps around Harry’s member, easily finishing him off in a few strokes. Harry has no doubt that his walls clamping around Cisco’s member is stroking his embers into an unstoppable blaze.

This is confirmed when Cisco starts to knot. Cisco manages to stutter, “C-can I - is it okay if I -”

“Yes, Cisco, oh please,” Harry almost yells, “yes, yes, knot me, fill me, claim me.”

“Fuck Harry. You’re - fuck!”

Cisco shudders and collapses. Harry handles his sudden weight without much effort. He strokes Cisco’s shoulder blades and back. They lay together quietly as Cisco shivers and comes inside him, breeding him, planting his seed in Harry’s field.

Now that he’s been calmed by his alpha’s knot, the worry bubbles up that he could still be fertile. Pregnancy outside of bonding is rare but possible. On his Earth, his biological age isn’t actually as old as it’s considered here.

He shouldn’t have let this happen.

However, he doesn’t feel the least bit bad for making love to Cisco. At least that, he could give him and not cause any harm.

 

*

 

A few weeks later…

His daughter is the only thing holding him up, keeping him from collapsing. She walks him to the bathroom as he’s wracked with cramps. He can’t be in heat. It’s too early. And if he was, every fiber of his being would be screaming for Cisco. His alpha, except not really.

He immediately flings himself to the toilet, emptying his stomach contents. Jesse rubs his back, though she makes a face at the unseen mess. He sighs and rests his head against the toilet seat. Jesse chews on her lip. Then she digs out a box from the cabinet, opens it, and hands him the item. She quickly retreats.

Luckily, some of what he ingested had already made it to his bladder. He has Jesse get him his phone and a tall glass of water. He does five more tests and leaves them in the sink. He curls up in the bathtub. His head, stomach, and heart all hurt as though they are one entity.

Jesse slips back in at some point and calls to him.

“I’m pregnant, aren’t I?”

“Yes.” She must see the devastated expression on his face. “Are you going to be okay, dad?”

He groans. Jesse had been… on purpose, but it had taken quite a bit of convincing from his late wife. To say he wasn’t thrilled would be an understatement.

On one hand, half of Cisco’s wonderful DNA will reside in their offspring.

On the other hand, they’ll also be part of Harry. Jesse managed to turn out alright, but he isn’t sure if he could – or wants – to go through everything over again. And this time, he won’t have a partner to help out. Jesse, as a beta, has been trained from a young age how to handle omegas when they need help. But it isn’t the same as an alpha.

Eventually, his hormones will go wild. Every minute that Cisco isn’t by his side will become torture. It would be easier – more merciful toward himself and unborn offspring – just to end it. He knows on Earth one, abortion is largely taboo, as it’s rare and prized for omegas to be able to fall pregnant. But he doesn’t have to worry about that here.

The thought of terminating Cisco’s child or children makes his chest hurt. It would be like he’s severing the final tie he could keep with him. Cisco would know. Even if Harry somehow kept this secret from his vibes, he would know the moment that cluster of cells ceased to exist. It would likely deeply upset Cisco beyond repair to not even be made aware of Harry’s pregnancy and his decision, prior to whatever happens. Yet, Harry is troubled by the thought of telling Cisco to his face. To Cisco, he might see that as Harry saying he doesn’t want any part of Cisco in his life.

Harry isn’t even sure Cisco wants anything to do with him now, but his alpha instincts at the least and his compassionate nature at best would mean he’d want to partake in joint fatherhood. Then Cisco would be around, forcing him to hide his true feelings again – the difference this time being that Cisco knows how he feels, even if he were to not show it. And could he? Would he be able to fight his omega instincts? Is it better to just leave Cisco in the dark either way and deal with his wrath later?

It’s a dilemma. The only way to settle this tie between his feelings would be to tell Cisco. But after he left the way he did? It’s a blur of arguments that he’s done his best to suppress his memories of. He had pushed Cisco away, said things he profoundly regrets. He had done so, able to see, unlike he would’ve before, exactly how much he was hurting Cisco.

But he didn’t need Cisco feeling sorry for him. Maybe on some level Cisco was attracted to him, it didn’t matter. After what they did, there would be no salvaging their friendship. Harry had lured him in, made him feel good, but he couldn’t provide.

Harry was an idiot to ever think that Cisco could love him the same way. Harry should’ve taken the hint when Cisco didn’t make it perfectly clear his feelings were reciprocated, despite Harry giving him two chances. He wasn’t about to wait and hope that Cisco would catch up, would fall for him beyond the connection they had as a…a pair of greater minds working to stop criminals and evil.

He doesn’t move from the bathtub, preferring to wallow in his misery for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I didn't really fix the angst yet. Sorry.
> 
> So, it's been a while and I read over the first chapter really fast to try and refresh my brain. Hopefully this chapter... makes sense. If anything doesn't add up, if you happen to notice, please, please let me know. Otherwise, I hope you... enjoy?

 

The moment he had smelled Harry in the lab, he was doomed. Cisco had merely suspected before, due to the original Harrison Wells of this Earth being a known omega. But that didn’t mean it existed on Harry’s Earth, though Jesse casually mentioning that she’s a beta sealed it as a possibility.

He already took some low level suppressants, he just got the dose kicked up after that. Just in case. When he was a teenager, Cisco’s hormones had overwhelmed him, and he accidentally made an omega classmate very uncomfortable. He’s not ashamed to be an alpha (though he is embarrassed to be one sometimes when he hears of unsavory incidents), but better to be safe than sorry. He’s wary for the sake of others, even though being an adult would likely afford him a higher level of control.

Except, apparently, when the omega actually wants him.

Cisco checked with him and rechecked. Kissing him then, had seemed natural, and it had been unlike anything else and like everything at once.

Days turn into weeks, which turn into months. It’s been a largely uneventful late spring and summer for Team Flash, since DeVoe was defeated. There was the whole shock of Nora, but that seemed more like a family affair.

Well, Cisco has stayed out of it for personal reasons. He doesn’t want to deal with any drama unless they actually need him to build something or vibe someone. He’s essentially allowing himself to be called upon as little more than a tool, but it’s what he feels like now.

He still can’t believe Harry left. Harry left after he told Cisco he loves him. Harry left after Cisco made love to him.

Cisco stares at the board, still with Harry’s notes scrawled across it. Vivid images run on repeat in his mind, and he wishes he could crush them, burn them.

Yet he wants to cradle them close and shield them from harm.

Why did he let Harry do this to him? Why did he allow him to? Why did he do this to himself? He sinks into the chair and drops his head into the palms of his hands.

Cisco remembers clearly, after they had gone countless rounds to satisfy Harry’s heat, waking up to the other side of the bed made and empty. He scrambled around and panicked, eventually realizing that Harry left his jacket behind. He vibed him. He caught him before he could leave.

“Where are you going?”

“To see my daughter, as I announced prior to -” Harry had started to answer simply, then cut himself off.

“Before we had sex,” Cisco finished bluntly crossing his arms. “And now you’re just going to turn tail and run? Typical.”

Cisco regrets saying that. It sounds cold in his mind now.

“Typical? What exactly about this situation is typical?” Harry bit back. “It’s best to sweep it under the rug. It’s happened. It’s over. Move on.”

“And what was all that about… falling in love with me?” Cisco’s eyes were filling with tears. Harry had his back turned to him, but he slowly faced Cisco.

His expression was a disturbingly blank mask. Then he said the words, the words that followed Cisco everywhere, that played like a broken record every night and morning.

“I stretched the truth a little. It had been a while since I was in heat and it was too intense. I trusted you, yes. But that is all.”

“You’re lying,” Cisco refuted desperately. “No one just says something like that. Not unless they’re some cold-hearted bastard. You might act like it, but I know you’re not. Especially now, you even said so yourself, I gave you balance!”

“It doesn’t matter if I - It doesn’t matter what I feel. Feelings are useless to the team,” Harry said solemnly. “I don’t know who I am. I need to spend time on my Earth figuring this out, figuring out how to navigate my emotions in a more familiar environment where I don’t have to hide in a lab, or under a baseball cap. Otherwise, I will just be a liability.”

“You’re not -”

“Perhaps I had spoken too soon. No matter what, I will always hurt the people that I care about. Better to have less of them. Better to go back to my daughter. Maybe I’ll visit once in a while, but there can’t be -”

Harry looked at the floor. He was rigid, stiff, from head to toe. He was holding so much in, he had to be. His words hurt, but Cisco with every fiber of his being didn’t want to believe them.

“There can’t be attachment.”

“You can’t honestly believe that bullshit!” Tears escaped, streaming down Cisco’s cheeks. “You can’t just leave! We can figure this out -”

“I’m not the person who loved you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be him again, and even if I was, he could never deserve you. And I’m going to prove it,” Harry responded. Then he was gone.

For the first few weeks, Cisco held out the hope that Harry was just going to spend some time with his daughter and come back. In the meantime, Cisco kept himself occupied with trying to solve whatever happened to the rest of Harry’s mind. He gave Harry space, in hopes he would change his mind, realize the terrible mistake he made.

He doesn’t regret being with Harry, he loves him, and the sex was amazing, emotionally and physically. But he can’t help feeling a twinge of guilt and concern that he shouldn’t have been with Harry in that state of mind. Harry saw himself as balanced, but he also saw himself as useless to the team.

He did claim that he simply had to sort out how to process his emotional sensitivity in day to day life, but to Cisco the timing didn’t make sense, especially since he hasn’t returned. Regarding the other awful and confusing things he said, Cisco still doesn’t entirely believe it. He’s also not sure what it all meant.

Jesse is all that’s there for him on Earth two. He has his company, but what is it to him without the intelligence to solve equations, to invent, to do all the things he built his company on? It seems like it would’ve gotten frustrating by now.

Where better to navigate a newfound ‘balance’ than with his friends and family on Earth one? Unless, he wanted to get away from Cisco.

Unless, Cisco had wronged him.

They went into it to fast. Harry didn’t appear to regret having sex with Cisco, but Cisco wonders if they shouldn’t have jumped into it. Maybe, after the fact, Harry decided he didn’t want to have a romantic relationship after all.

Hey, thanks, you’re a great bang, but I don’t think this will work out. That’s what Cisco heard as Harry had talked around it. He told Cisco he loved him, made his heart soar, then jumped in bed with Cisco. Then he had turned around and told Cisco to forget about him, to live his life. Cisco doesn’t know how Harry could think that Cisco wouldn’t spend every day wishing he was here, to talk with, to joke with, to watch movies with, just to hold and kiss.

Suddenly, it feels like the walls of the workshop are closing in around him. He heads through the cortex, wondering if he should go grab a burger. Even thinking about Harry's favorite fast-food restaurant is painful. He wants Harry to appear, take him by the hand, promise to stay forever. 

He can't move on if he can't make peace with this. And he can't make peace with this unless he fully understands Harry's reasons, intentions, and feelings. But Harry. It had to be Harry, possibly the most emotionally stunted man in the multiverse. He's one of a kind, and Cisco adores him. He's never had a connection with anyone like the one he has with Harry. But he's also an endlessly perplexing person and a capricious pain in the ass.

“How could I be such an idiot?”

“You’re not an idiot Cisco,” he was told repeatedly, by everyone, in nine different ways. Today, it's Iris. They were the only ones in STAR at the moment, but Cisco is having one of those days that he would have avoided anyone else. Iris has a calming effect on him, as betas often do on their pheromone addled alpha and omega counterparts.

“I let him break my heart. I didn’t even try to stop him,” Cisco says, his voice cracking slightly.

“In my opinion, I think he panicked. That’s he does. He goes back to what’s safe and familiar, backtracking any strides that he’s made. He’s self-destructive.”

Cisco doesn’t know why anyone puts up with him anymore. All he does is mope and cry, fiddle with a few forever unfinished inventions, then mope and cry some more. He should take Harry’s advice and move on, but he just can’t. For fuck’s sake, he carries one of Harry’s sweaters around in the hopes of vibing him by accident instead of just, going over there and saying what’s up, ya miss me asshole?

Something inside him has latched on tight and won’t let go, until it tears Cisco apart from the inside out.

“I wish - maybe if I’d said or done something different. Maybe if I hadn’t rushed into bed with him…”

“Life is full of what-ifs, Cisco, you can’t linger on them or you’ll go insane. Life is about choices. You can vibe over there and confront him, or you can wait until he’s done with his pity party.”

“I’ve often wondered why I didn’t try to push for being team leader after Barry… But you prove again and again the reasons why. When did you get so wise?”

“Sometime in between Barry breaking the timeline and HR sacrificing himself, I think. Or maybe it was after that. It’s hard to say.”

“I think becoming our leader just brought it to the surface,” Cisco suggests.

“Perhaps. So what are you gonna do? Wait on him, or take the reigns and show him how it’s done?”

Cisco presses the sweater to his face without thinking about it. Cisco expects just his familiar scent, but the tingling sensation of the beginning of a vibe hits him. Soon he’s flooded by it. He sees Harry in pain, crying out for him. There’s a doctor, saying something. He hears Jesse somewhere in the background asking if her dad is going to be alright.

With a shock, Cisco realizes that Harry is in labor. Which means he’s pregnant… or going to be pregnant. A cry of a baby pierces the air. The vibe skips ahead, it would seem, as he’s given a glimpse of a birth certificate, including the date.

He leaves the vision. Though most of his time with Harry is a blur after the first knot, Cisco was with Harry for his entire heat. Unless an alpha caused him to go into an unscheduled heat right after he left to Earth two, Cisco has to be the father.

It means he’s pregnant right now.

It means he’s only a couple months from giving birth, as unlike betas, omegas gestate for only six months.

“It means I have to go right now,” Cisco says to Iris.

“Go? What?”

“I had a vibe! Harry is going to have my baby soon! Well, not soon, soon - but - yeah.”

Iris stares at him silently for a moment. Then, she laughs. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you knocked Harry up. Barry is going to love this.”

“Good thing I wasn’t the omega, I’m pretty sure everyone would line up to kill Harry.”

“We’re going to need more diapers. Joe and Cecile have a baby, now you’re going to have a baby, or several, and Barry and I are going to have kids… eventually. This is ridiculous, how are we going to fight bad guys with four little ones running around,” Iris remarks.

Cisco drags the palm of his hand over his face. “I have no idea. We’ll figure it out eventually. I might… have to stay on Earth two for a while. I’ll let you know.”

“No problem. You know we wouldn’t ask you to choose us over your - over Harry and your child.”

Cisco starts to pace, wringing his hands. “God what if it is more than one? What the hell do I know about being a father?”

Iris wraps her arms around him. “You’re a good guy, an amazing guy, you’ll do fine. And Harry’s already been on that ride once.”

“Right, right.”

Cisco opens a portal to comfort his omega, and to give him a piece of his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not replying to any comments... confidence issues... but all your reviews are wonderful and appreciated, thank you !!! <3

Cisco considers just popping in.

He does at first. He checks Earth two’s Star Labs. But of course he isn’t there. He’s not long from his due date. He likely would’ve held out as long as he could, the stubborn man.

Jesse would have eventually made him see sense.

He stares at the door, fist raised, and his breath caught tight in his lungs.

He knocks. It doesn’t take long for the door to swing open, and he’s faced with Jesse. Her eyes widened.

“You -”

“I vibed him. Er- in the future - when he.” Cisco takes a deep breath. “I know he’s expecting. I need to see him. Please.”

“Of course… it’s good that you came.” He follows her inside.

“Would he have ever told me?”

She looks back at him. “I think his guilt would eventually have overcome his doubt. He wouldn’t keep the knowledge of your child from you after they were born.”

It’s a moot point now anyway. They’re entering the living room and he’s sitting there, on the couch. His belly is large, housing his - their - child. He has one hand on it, and his head is resting on the other.

Cisco’s mouth goes dry, and he suddenly wants to open a breach right back home. He helplessly releases a whimper as panic sets in. Jesse rubs his shoulder, but she seems far away and not entirely real.

Harry glances away from the movie to see Cisco in the doorway. He pushes himself up from the couch slowly and marches over. His expression morphs into a scowl, which would be comical in any other situation. Cisco stifles a smile and pretends to examine the family photos on the wall.

“What are you doing here?” Harry’s gruff voice seems so full of pain. Cisco reaches for his hand. He’s mildly pleased when Harry allows him to take it.

* * *

Harry stares into the face of the man he loves, and hates himself tenfold. Here stands the man he betrayed, hurt, recently and in the past. Yet, he’s here somehow. Harry is torn. Harry wants to enfold him in his arms. Another part of him wants to push Cisco out the door and slam it.

“I vibed you giving birth in a few weeks. I had to be here.”

Harry stares at him, not sure what he should say. It had occurred to him that Cisco might vibe him and know and show up. However, he had pushed that to the back of his mind, a bridge to cross when he got there.

Now he’s here, and the bridge seems to loom, gigantic yet fragile. One wrong step, and everything will crumble down, collapsing on top of him.

“Harry? If you want me to leave… if you really want me to leave… I will.” Cisco’s eyes are big and bright. He doesn’t even seem angry at all. Perhaps he got it out of his system. Or he’s just worried about their baby. A tear slides down Cisco’s cheek.

Harry automatically squeezes his hand. “I - I - for the child. If you want to be here for our child….”

Jesse wanders off, probably feeling like she should give them some privacy.

“Jesse. I think this might - we need to - you don’t have to stay here.”

“You sure dad?”

“I think Cisco and I have some… catching up to do.”

Jesse glances at Cisco, then hugs him. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Thank you for being so great, Quick,” Harry whispers, a familiar choice of words. He thanks her for everything almost every day. He hugs her back tight. “Love you.”

She responds to assure him as she does every time, “It’s not a problem. I love you too. I’ll pick us all up Big Belly Burger later, K?”

Harry mentally lingers on ‘us all’. It can be interpreted one way, but Harry doesn’t miss the pointed look she gives Cisco over her shoulder. She slips out the door. Cisco closes in, his steps hesitant. Harry hates that he’s made Cisco feel so unwelcome.

Cisco rocks forward until his forehead is against Harry’s collarbone. He sniffles. Harry catches Cisco’s scent, which seems to settle due to Harry’s own washing over him. Since his nose is right there. He doesn’t know if he could describe how Cisco’s scent makes him feel out loud. He thinks it smells like… like home. Like the place where he belongs.

“I want to be here for _you_. It’s partly the alpha in me that makes the feeling so strong but.” Cisco cuts himself off with a sigh. “I don’t understand why you try so hard to be unhappy.”

“Unha - I’m not - I’m fine -” As soon as the words roll off his tongue, he knows it’s a lie. His jaw snaps shut. He places his hand flat between Cisco’s shoulder blades and kisses the top of his head.

“I’m sorry,” Harry says softly. He feels like an idiot, but that’s not new. He realizes Cisco is not yet aware and continues, “You should know - Jesse… she restored what I lost in the dark matter incident. Well - she had help.”

Harry doesn’t mention that help came from Cisco’s doppelganger, an unexpectedly intimidating individual by the pseudonym of Arpeggio from Wolfgang’s Earth. He was all but glued to his guitar, which he used to channel his powers, similar to the Fiddler. He didn’t communicate much, but he had a solid strength about him. And a beard. He never would have thought Cisco would look so sexy with facial hair.

When Harry asked him if he knew Wolfgang Wells, Arpeggio had rolled his eyes and lazily made a gesture that was completely unfamiliar to Harry. Given the context, he guessed the meaning would be considered rude.

No less than Harry’s doppelganger deserved. Harry wouldn’t forget how that Wells had laughed at his degrading intelligence. Quite the salt in the wound.

Harry insisted that Jesse not bring Cisco into it, Harry couldn’t face him. It was cowardice to be sure, especially to turn around and use someone with similar brainpower and the same face. He couldn’t ask his - _Earth one’s_ Cisco for help. He would feel like scum for pushing him away only to use him for his genius.

Cisco looks at him and blinks through his tears. He doesn’t seem frustrated - or surprised - by Harry’s change of subject. Harry fidgets, he wants to wipe the tears away but not sure if it would be welcome.

No, it probably would. He’s just afraid that once he starts down that road he won’t be able to turn back again. He doesn’t get a chance to decide though. Cisco wipes his tears away roughly and tilts his head.

“Show me?”

Harry takes him to his home lab. They write out equations together, eventually culminating in a short battle of the minds. It ends with Harry throwing his marker down on the floor in defeat. Cisco grins triumphantly. Harry yanks the marker from his hand and throws it across the room.

“That was close. My superior grasp of Klingon tipped the scales in the mid-quarter.”

“Semantics. Besides,” Harry says and waves his hand dismissively, “That’s not even math or science. I’d declare a rematch, but I just want lemonade… badly.”

Harry makes for the kitchen.

Cisco trails after him. He drawls, “Guess I’ll always be the bigger nerd.”

Harry retorts, “And you’re proud of that?”

“Nerds should run the world man! Well - after girls. According to Beyonce they already do, and I can’t argue with those lyrics.” Cisco busts out a few dance moves while belting, ‘Who run the world? Girls!’

Harry raises an eyebrow. He shakes his head after watching for a second, then grabs the lemonade from the fridge. Luckily, he had the same craving yesterday. Cisco swipes his phone and plays another song on it. Harry sips his lemonade as he watches Cisco shimmy his hips.

He about loses his mind and nearly chokes on his lemonade when Cisco practically humps the wall. He wipes his mouth and sets the glass in the sink.

“Where are you going?” Cisco asks as Harry returns to the living room.

“You interrupted my movie.” Harry glances at him. “Not that I’m… complaining.”

Cisco latches onto his wrist, feet still shuffling in dance. “C’mon dance with me. Exercise is good for you.”

He turns away and bites his lip so Cisco doesn’t see the emotions likely building behind his eyes. He missed Cisco so much.

* * *

Cisco stops as Harry turns away and goes stiff. Cisco puts a hand on his shoulder. He’s overwhelming him, too much at once. Cisco doesn’t want to coddle him, but he should tread carefully. Harry is doing his utmost to resist it - his feelings, their connection.

Cisco is trying to resist screaming.

“So… were you excited to get your physicist and critical thinking skills back in full?”

Harry shrugs. “It… my perspective has changed. I’m definitely thankful, to everyone who endeavored to get it back. It’s a big part of who I am. But it’s not - all of me. I’m starting to see that.”

Harry looks at the hand still on his shoulder. Cisco yanks away as though burned. He had not meant to linger. He just couldn’t help it. Touching Harry - being near him, talking to him, made him feel whole again.

It’s like Harry had ripped a part of him out and taken it with him when he left.

That’s being in love, Cisco supposes. He grabs the bridge of his nose between his fingers and squeezes his eyes shut. If he keeps this up, he’s going to cry himself until empty.

“Cisco.”

“What?” That came out more harshly then he meant. He opens his eyes to see the a brief flash of hurt in Harry’s eyes. Then it settles. Possibly as he remembers he’s the cause of Cisco’s pain?

“The baby is kicking. Do you want to - want to feel it?”

Cisco silently notes the crack in Harry’s voice. He chews on his lip. “Yeah. of course.”

Harry pulls his shirt up. Somehow, he still manages to be dressed in all black. Ridiculous man. Cisco’s hand shakes as he reaches out and places it on Harry’s round stomach. There’s a nudge against the palm of his hand, and he can’t stop the tears flowing from his eyes again.

“Oh my god.”

“Yes - Ramon -”

“That’s our baby. It’s really in there isn’t it?” He rubs circles on Harry’s skin. His desire to be a father has fluctuated over the years but now… it’s so real. He feels a little faint. He concentrates to regulate his breathing, remembers what he’s been taught. Their scents are mingling. An anxious alpha can cause their omega severe distress.

Harry obviously feels bad enough as it is.

Harry places his hand over Cisco’s. “I have a device that gives me access to a live audio feed of the heartbeat. It helps me sleep at night.”

Cisco focuses on the last thing he said. Helps him sleep… because he’s nervous of something happening? A constant reminder that the baby is safe and whole? That’s kind of sweet, but Cisco also wants to hold Harry close and tell him everything will be alright, and not to worry himself sick due to horrible experiences in the past.

“You _are_ a sap. That’s beautiful.”

Cisco swallows at looks Harry in the eyes again. His heartbeat picks up at the small smile on his lips. _He’s_ beautiful. He thinks of something about glowing and pregnancy, but he decides he shouldn’t say it out loud. Harry might kill over from too much sappiness.

“Do you know the sex?”

“I - I know it’s - dumb. But. I want it to be a surprise. It’s not like I give a shit about the color of the nursery or other stuff - assigning colors to represent gender binary - idiotic."

“That’s not dumb. And I totally get you on the color thing.” He pauses thoughtfully. “What about… names?”

Cisco will understand if Harry has already decided on name options. Still, he hopes there might be room for more.

Harry rubs his thumb across Cisco’s knuckles. Cisco doesn’t want this contact to end. He stands perfectly still. It’s probably silly, but he’s afraid that moving will break this moment like fragile glass.

“I haven’t sat down and made a list. Every time I tried -”

Harry falls quiet. Cisco can see the struggle in his expression. He whispers, “It’s okay.”

Harry moves his hand up to gently wipe Cisco’s tears from his cheeks. Then he grabs Cisco’s hand from his belly and kisses it. “It felt wrong without you here. I wanted your opinion, your creativity. Your humor. Your sarcasm.”

Harry clearly isn’t just talking about baby names now.

“Harry -”

“I don’t deserve another chance. But after I left all I could think about was you - every day -”

“Harry you -”

“You should’ve been here. For the first sonogram. For the heartbeat. For the first kicks. You can have the name. I can give you that, you can pick it.”

“No.”

* * *

Harry freezes. He grits his teeth and exhaled sharply through them. He looks down at the floor. So that is it. Cisco must be angry after all, just hiding it extremely well. Harry’s heart sinks. He can’t make up for his wrongdoing simply by allowing Cisco the name. Does he even want to be around Harry? He’ll just pick up the kid when it’s his turn and not even look at Harry.

What if he decides the child shouldn’t be in Harry’s care? Would he try to fight for - No. Cisco is too kind for that. Unless Harry was really mistreating the baby (which he would never - god no), Cisco wouldn’t be so cold as to separate them.

Cisco takes his hand and puts his other hand on Harry’s cheek, his thumb moving back and forth. “Hey. Hey. Where’d you go?”

Harry looks at their joined hands. It dawns on him that Cisco said more, and he’d been too inside of his head to hear it. He braces himself.

“I didn’t catch that Ramon.”

“I said - we can name it together. We can do this together.”

Together. Cisco’s compassion is nearly boundless, and Harry is lucky to know him, to ever have experienced his affection. He knows right then he wants to spend the rest of his life making Cisco feel loved and secure. After he truly earns his forgiveness. Cisco might give it too willingly, but Harry would treat it like the precious gift that it is.

“We - but I -” Harry pulls his hands away and steps back. He would collapse on the couch, and he does sit down. But he takes it slow because of his pregnancy.

“What I did - unforgivable -”

Cisco sighs and flops down beside him.

“You were a colossal dick. Yes. Everyone knows this. But I couldn’t stop asking myself, Why? It didn’t make any sense. You admitted you loved me - then suddenly took it back? That’s not - I know you -”

“It doesn’t matter. I would end up hurting you eventually.” Harry starts to pace, keeping one steady hand on his bulging stomach like usual. “Tying your heart to me and then destroying it. You saw what I did to my relationship with my daughter! She got kidnapped by Zoom because of me! She ran away from me - because I’m unbearable. I was unbearable because I couldn’t save her mother -”

“Her mother’s life isn’t on you. Zoom’s evilness wasn’t on you! If not Jesse he would have hurt other poor souls.”

Cisco grabs his arm to stop him. “You were dealt some shitty cards, but you can’t blame yourself. It’s how you responded that’s important. Did you give up after Tess died? No, you kept going, built an amazing company and raised an amazing daughter. What did you do when Zoom took Jesse? Did everything you could to get her back, even if it meant ruining your soul in the process. You’re a good man Harry, one that’s worth more than all the IQ points in the world, and damn it, you just have to fucking accept that!”

Harry doesn’t get to process that. All he has is a moment to know that all of his loathing and self-doubt has been thoroughly beaten and raked across the coals. His lips part to respond, but they’re covered by Cisco’s. Cisco has put a hand on the back of his neck and kissed him hard. As though he’s trying to plant all of his love and faith in Harry into his brain through his lips. Harry wraps his arms around him and eagerly kisses back.

He breaks away to murmur, “I love you, Cisco. You’re the most incredible -”

“I know. Shut up and kiss me.” Harry smirks. Then he nips Cisco’s bottom lip. He gasps and allows Harry to slip his tongue inside.

They stand in the middle of the lab, just holding each other and kissing. For a time they ignore the spinning of the Earth, caught entirely in each other’s gravity. When they finally break apart, Harry stares at Cisco. He doesn’t know how he could be so stupid to try and rob them of this.

“If I try to do anything stupid like that again, you’ll stop me.”

“Duh,” Cisco replies. “And I’ll get Jesse and whoever else I need on your ass too if I have to. Dumbass.”

Harry must look insulted. Cisco grins wide and kisses him again.

He kisses along Harry’s cheek and says close to his ear, “I love you too, you ginormous dope. Also, I lied. I’m totally picking the name.”

“Ginormous? You should really watch your choice of words around a hormonal pregnant person. You are not naming our child Chewbacca, Han Solo, or Spock by the way.”

Cisco huffs and draws back, placing his hands flat on Harry’s chest. “Do you have to suck the fun out of everything?”

“If you want fun, you can suck it out of my dick.” Just thinking about it, his cock twitches and gets hard in his loose sweatpants.

Cisco blinks a few times, mouth falling open. Then he jerks his head away and snorts into his hand. He can’t seem to stop his giggles.

“You - oh my - that was awful.”

Harry slides his fingers into Cisco’s thick hair. “Good thing you’re already in love with me then.”

“ _Dios ayudame_ , you’ve got me there. But at least I’ve taken you down with me.”

Despite his criticism of Harry’s line, Cisco cups his crotch. The feeling of his hand is such a relief. He’s been as horny as a teenager for a week and a half.

“You don’t have to,” Harry hurries to add.

Cisco raises his eyebrows. Harry smiles. He leans back a little and splays his legs. Cisco’s hand creeps under the waist of his pants. Letting themselves go - in the heat of the moment - was one thing. But this - this is something else. Something special. Something unbelievable. He watches Cisco’s every movement, struggling to breathe properly.

Cisco’s mouth sinks around him. The dense warmth is wonderful. He starts to sigh, but it turns into a groan. He runs his fingers over Cisco’s scalp. His free hand finds Cisco’s where it rests on Harry’s hip. He threads their fingers. He yearns for every point of contact he can find, keep himself rooted in this reality. Where Cisco is with him, loves him, doesn’t let him deny himself happiness.

“I won’t ever leave you alone like that again,” Harry tells him firmly. Cisco hums, sending electric sparks through him. “And I’ll make you feel so good after this, you won’t be able to move a muscle.”

After making Harry come and tugging his pants up for him, Cisco claims, “I expect breakfast in bed too.”

“Who’s the pregnant omega here?” Harry crosses his arms, frowning. Internally, he wants to do whatever Cisco asks. He curses his omega instincts, but he can’t argue with them in this instance.

Cisco rolls his eyes, though his expression is mild.

“You’re not bedridden yet. If you can fuck me into oblivion, you can bring me bacon.”

Harry grumbles nonsense down at him and brings him up for a few kisses. “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”

“Hmm… I’m beginning to think having a child is going to haunt us. Oh, what have we done. This kid is going to be impossible!”

“But we’ll love them more fiercely than they could imagine.”

Cisco places a hand below Harry’s navel, his expression becoming stern. “If anyone tries to hurt our baby, they won’t stand a chance.”


End file.
